Timeline.

Here is my dinner party timeline. In specifics.

Thursday, 9:00 a.m.: Decide on menu. Which included LOTS of Internet research. How did people exist without the Web???

Once menu was decided, I hit the ground running to pick up supplies. Stops included Walmart for decor-related items, and Sam's Club for 36 eggs.

Thursday, 1:00 p.m.: A run to Dierberg's for all items not purchased at Sam's. This trip entails dragging three children with me (picture to document).

Thursday, 3:00 p.m.: Time to get serious about cleaning. This picture shows you the state of my kitchen, as it usually looks most afternoons. At this point, I am cleaning the kitchen only to re-dirty it SEVERAL more times before our dinner party. How to clean a kitchen and keep it clean is one of the great mysteries of the world, and perhaps a question for Jesus.

Thursday, 4:00 p.m.: Sausage base for one casserole is made, and the bread machine is emerging from our pantry floor for the first time in 8.5 years.

Thursday, 4:30 p.m.: Cinnamon rolls...in the making. And all I can say is, oh mama.

Thursday, 9:00 p.m.: Second batch of cinnamon rolls begins. Because after seeing 1st batch, I realize that 16 rolls will not cut it.

Friday, 6:20 a.m.: Go running, knowing 13,000 calories will be consumed today in cinnamon rolls alone. Mike gets our tables set up.

Friday, 10:00 a.m.: Run to farmers market for prime fruit picking.

Friday, 10:30 a.m.: Run to Walmart for last minute table decor idea.

Friday, 11:00 a.m.: Run to Dierberg's for orange juice.

Friday, 1:30 p.m.: Nap time for kids...game on. Tables set. Bathrooms cleaned (NO purpose in doing this before children are down for naps...that ups the chances/universal odds of pee spillage on the floor). Floors swept and mopped. Brief rest to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 while floors dry. Plant flowers in large planter for table centerpiece...only to realize I do not like the large planter for the table centerpiece, even with a pretty pink tulle bow on it. Stuff toys in bins.

Friday, 4:00 p.m: Cook! Make banana crumb muffins. Chop fruit. Chop veggies for second egg casserole. Create a timeline for what goes in the oven at what times (this is VERY important for me, as I cannot juggle the times and the math all at once).

Friday, 4:30 p.m.: Mike cuts the grass. The children are up from naps and either playing outside or watching some sort of movie. I think.

Friday, 5:45 p.m.: Send Michael and the kids to McDonald's for dinner. Eliminate the need to clean up dinner dishes AND the potential for up to 4 milk spills. This is key defensive strategy, BUT leaves me a man down to finish details around the house.

Friday, 6:00 p.m.: Start to hyperventilate when I realize I am missing whipping cream. Begin thinking dinner will be served at 9:45 p.m.

Friday, 6:02 p.m.: Mental pep-talk over with, officially back in the game. Take cinnamon rolls out of fridge to rise. Make cinnamon roll icing...oh, it gets even better. Reference timeline and get casseroles in the ovens. Change clothes. Apply deodorant in lieu of shower. Dishes, dishes, dishes.

Friday, 7:05 p.m.: First guests arrive. Wine is served. Life is good.

Friday, 7:35 p.m.: Cinnamon rolls emerge from oven and are iced. I can barely even talk about it.

Friday, 7:45 p.m.: Dinner is served. It is good...thank you allrecipes.com. The cinnamon rolls are like Cinnabon. No joke.

Friday, 11:07 p.m.: Rope swinging from our deck commences. Potential for 911 to be called within minutes.

Friday, 11:12 p.m.: Hitting golf balls with a baseball bat on to the golf course behind our house begins.

Saturday, 1:00 a.m.: Party over. Whoops out of time.

Up next: recipes!!! Oh, and the removal of tonsils from Little J. Tomorrow. Pictures to follow, of course!