Sunday, February 7, 2010

It is OBVIOUS that I have missed my calling in scientific discovery, diagnostic medicine and sports theorizing.


In a striking twist of irony, it appears that L is showing signs of chinchilla-ism. As she has been diagnosed with strep throat for the second time in a month. The rodent gene runs strong in our offspring, it seems.


If you are confused, back up a couple of posts. I found a picture of a furr ball, and since that pivotal moment, have researched and found great similarities between the ever-sensitive chinchilla, my husband and my children. The resemblance, in terms of the plethora of factors that will sicken/kill these highly sensitive creatures (children and chinchillas) is UNCANNY. In fact, I am theorizing that because of some forbidden love affair back in the 1600's, I have uncovered a new hybrid species called the chil-drilla.


And as I need something to blame for L's sickness, I am going with the subject of my research, the ever immune-sensitive chinchilla.


You might recall that L's previous strep diagnosis brought NO symptoms (aside from lack of eating), which meant she went undiagnosed for 5 days. Not the case this time, as I could tell you the EXACT moment that the strep germs attacked her weak-chinchilla immunity. After church this morning, at precisely 10:22 a.m., when she would not stop crying, for no apparent reason.


Such was her distress, that Mike and I ACTUALLY considered the fact that she had a life-threatening brain injury. Seriously. She really got nailed by a chair at McDonalds yesterday, leaving her with a black eye. Now, I know that chair would have to impact her so hard that it would shatter her facial bones and travel upward of her sinuses to reach her brain. And then, she'd have lived with those injuries for over 24 hours, symptom free. But. We were debating all kinds of crazy because L went from hysterical to a coma-like state. And that just had severe brain injury written all over it.


I know that you are sad that my instinctual diagnostic skills were not put to use in a large-scale hospital. I feel guilt over this daily.


At the end of the day, no x-rays were ordered (though the doctors did palpitate her head quite a bit at our suggestion) and the strep test was positive. Again.


On another note.


My blue fleece should suggest that I am cheering for the Colts in tonight's Superbowl match-up. I am not a sports gal, but do feel an allegiance to Indiana, as it is the state of my college alma-mater. And the people of Indiana are a fine, sports-loving bunch.


Besides, I am truly opposed to some of the hair I have seen on members of the Saints team. In particular, the big white guy with the bob-length blonde hair. I cannot route for hair like that, it goes against every good intention in my body. There is also the Kim Kardashian (Saints) vs. Kendra Wilkinson (Colts) debate, but as I am neither for, nor against either of these reality stars, they are really a non-factor.


My money is on Indy, based strategically on college and reasonable hair.


I know, I know. You are also sad that my skills as a sports analyst are not better utilized in casinos or on sports talk radio.


I choose instead to excel at interpretive readings of "Llama Llama Red Pajama" and educating children on the physics of waste management. As an empty nester, I look forward to running my bootleg gambling ring from the comforts of my diagnostic medical clinic.

4 comments:

Michael and Rachelle said...

Hey not to sound obnoxious, but when my nephew got strep back to back in a month they asked my sister if she changed his toothbrush. She had not. That was their explanation. Yours is much more interesting. :) Hope she recovers quickly.

Jodie Allen said...

OMG we are OBSESSED in this house with the "baby llama book"! They ALL know it by heart and love to JUMP AND SHOUT! :)

carol said...

Jodie has not officially "read" Llama Llama until she's heard a Sara reading...btw, from a dental expert point of view, nice teeth!!

becky said...

i totally agree with cheering for the colts b/c they have better hair. although kim kardashians boyfriend is a saint so i feel a connection there too:)