I almost don't have the words. Almost.
Because many of you had very encouraging words for me after yesterday's post. And truthfully, after my grand plans were out there for the universe to read, I felt relief. Like I just attended some sort of meeting geared toward addiction, and admitted that I was, in fact, an a writer.
Gasp. Sob. Breathe.
I have begun to see EVERYTHING in terms of what this means. Particularly, my time commitments, as last I checked, books don't write themselves in a period of 10 minutes. The second part of accepting this plan is knowing that some things need to go. Which isn't so bad, as I can tell you precisely what those are...but I hate to say no to anyone. Or to go back on my yes, and make it a no. I have a serious God-complex, in that I like to be the savior that rescues frantic, over-stressed adults from their problems. No, that's not true--I am the go-to gal for those who know how to delegate. Delegaters (is that how you spell it?) don't stress...they know, in fact, how to delegate.
Anyway. Today was my day! And the world was my oyster! And there was no where to go but up! And all kinds of cheesiness like that! And I was about to go on living with the same insecurities and needs and inabilities to say no. Just like always.
I got an email from Gabrielle Blair, aka, Design Mom. Do you read her? If not, I think you are the ONLY person on the planet. Go. Run. Sprint. Jump the laundry basket. HERE is the link.
She is the first "major" blog I ever read...I like her eye for great design, I like her style, I like her attitude, I like her big (and growing) family. I LOVE that she can wear a men's tie as a belt, while preggo. And as she is expecting her sixth baby, she has been featuring different birth stories from women of all walks of life. I have been reading them since she started posting them. Laughing, crying, relating.
And then it dawned on me, that I have a pretty great birth story to tell! I emailed her, maybe 6 weeks ago, she responded with kind words, and that was that.
When she told me she was posting a link to my blog, to our story. To HIS story.
Which happens to come, without coincidence, on the day following my announcement to write a book. My step of faith.
A tiny, small step that the good Lord responded to with the greatest affirmation I could ever hope for. Not because of a craft, or a recipe or anything I have done...but simply for the story of my precious triplets and the lives of my surviving babies, which I had ZERO hand in. I was not capable of breathing life into lungs that were weak like tissue paper. It isn't an amazing story because of any effort on my part, I can guarantee. Hell, even that blog post is not the most well crafted piece of writing. I could pick every inch of that story and that post apart, based on my involvement in it.
But it was ALWAYS God's story to tell. In his timing, by his design.
Yes, having the attention is great. By what seems like an amazing coincidence of timing, no doubt. But knowing what a big deal yesterday's admission was, and then having it met with such a purposeful, out-of-the-ordinary and unrelated response...I don't know that I could ever express the absolute awe.
It was affirmation I could never have expected. My blog traffic today exceeds what I would normally see in 10 days time. Which makes the next step all the more exciting.
I can do this. God is telling me so.
Thanks to all of you who have visited today from Design Mom, who have encouraged me with comments, who have prayed for my sanity. It has done more for me and my simple faith than anything I could ever imagine.