Blog world, I have had a LOOOOOONG day. It started off with leisurely wheezing when I decided to go for a run (against my better judgement AND my undiagnosed heart condition). I showered (BIG mistake) and headed to see G compete in her school's field day.
OMG.
They were cooking my daughter, y'all! COOKING HER!
When Mike and I arrived (about 2 hours in), she had the look of a crab desperately trying to claw its way out of a fake, fuzzy cooktop (translation: AstroTurf field), which registered 115 degrees. At least.
I hated to leave her there. But I had to go or I was going to DIE as my organs were liquefying. I figure G is young, she can grow new organs or adapt to life without kidneys.
So then, I headed home to round up the other littles, and we made our way to the City Garden, downtown. It had just rained a little and NO ONE was there. It was all kinds of awesome, and this would be where Little J attempted to douche his large and small intestines.
Being the COOL mom that I am, we decided to pick G and her carpool mate up from school and treat them to ice cream! Mostly in an effort to lower their core temperature and therefore minimize brain damage.
We made our way to the ice cream place, only for G to begin complaining of sickness. Which is so obviously dehydration. And low blood sugar, as she says she barely ate her lunch. Ice cream it is!
Which she wouldn't touch. And mostly we spent time in the bathroom where I tried not to vomit every time she touched the toilet seat with her hands. Gag.
The other kids ate, we hurried them along and we got G back in the car. Where she starts to freak out. And then pukes.
Lordy.
Then Little J's enema kicked in. Just kidding, I am SO witty!
I did manage to keep the other first grader from tossing his fro-yo. G sat for the next 10 minutes cuddling her vomit in a towel. We made our way home, I stripped her down in the garage and sent ALL the children to the bath, where Little J proceed to cry/whine about EVERYTHING including my choice of bathroom tile. Whatevs.
Mike and I were going to golf tonight, until that ill-timed thunderstorm. So instead, I ate a big sandwich and a lot of hot cheese and a giant Diet Coke which was *blah* but better than being under-caffeinated.
And now I am watching the American Idol Season finale. Ohmygod, Crystal Bowersox's teeth used to be really yellow. And Paula Abdul is DEFINITELY on drugs. Awk-ward. And that one BeeGee is so freakin skinny. And shouldn't Brett Michaels be in bed and on blood thinners--I mean, seriously dude, take your wig off and relax a bit.
And that's all I've got to say about that.
3 comments:
ohhh enemas...how you can touch me with that one little word
Hee hee -- Daniel's instinct is to run far, far away from any vomit (including his own, which creates all kinds of problems when he's sick) so I am impressed that you not only kept him confined in his car seat but prevented him from puking too. He loved the fro-yo and now wants to take us there!
This post is so great.
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