Monday, June 7, 2010

Where my cool factor takes a MAJOR hit.

Okay, blog-friends, I am coming to you with an ONGOING debate. Really, my husband and I have been discussing my choice of swimsuit for 4+ months now, but I have also noticed similar confusion around the Internet. Regarding my exact bathing suit.

So now you get to weigh in.

And since you would only catch me in a full bathing suit shot if I were, 1.) dead, 2.) comatose, 3.) the age of 16, or 4.) so wasted that I wouldn't care if I was showing you my liquefied belly skin and my boobs, while I was at it...I am going to show you a more socially-appropriate example of what I am talking about.

Standing in my place as swimsuit model, is headless Target girl. We are going to assume she has a large abscess growing out of her eye sockets, since the top of her face is obviously unsuitable for our eyes.

This is the suit I bought, in a slightly darker shade of blue. I think it's cute. And functional. And likely to hold my loose stomach skin to my bones when it threatens to puddle around my ankles. You know, I would LOVE to rock a tiny, string bikini, but we are 30 pounds and 3+ surgeries away from that.


The MOMENT my husband saw this suit, he kind of gagged. And I wasn't wearing it, I was simply holding it. Let me also preface this by saying that he NEVER gives me criticism over my clothing choices. NEVER. Even when I wore overalls on our first date (gimme a break, it was 1996, people).

But he told me to try the suit on, because it would probably look much better on my hot, liquid-belly-skin bod.

And then, I'm pretty sure I saw a little vomit come out of his nose, as he attempted to keep a straight face and breathe. In kind words, he said he didn't like it. And because he NEVER has a negative thing to say about my appearance, I wasn't offended. But I knew I had to return the bathing suit.

Which I did. Four months later. After my 90 day return window had expired.

So. I own an ugly blue bathing suit, but decided I would rock it when hubby wasn't around.

Also, let me state, that I am kind of on-the-fence about this suit, so don't think he shattered any kind of frail confidence I have in picking my own clothing, or anything. It appears to me as a conservative suit with some style to it, but Mike (and others) seem to think it's intended for 75 year olds. And while I like the idea of a strapless suit (with a detachable strap), it seems that it keeps wanting to *slip* below the line of decency, and when I add the strap, my neck feels like it is being bullied by lycra. I suppose I have a sensitive neck, but that's uncalled for.
OBVIOUSLY other women think this suit is cute--click HERE and HERE to see other
women who have purchased it, only to be faced with the same dilemma! And I consider both of these women uber cute and what's the deal? What are we missing??

After reading OMGmom's post last night, Mike and I had a good laugh, as I tried to get into his brain and figure out what his problem with this suit was. It went something like this:

Me: So, why exactly don't you like this suit?

Hubs: Um, there are a lot of reasons. But I guess I don't like strapless suits on women, I don't think they are flattering.

Me: So, when I add the straps it's better?

Hubs: Hmmm...maybe. Also, all those wrinkles in the middle are...a bit...much.

Me: So, it's the gathers (real term: ruching)? That's what's wrong with it?

Hubs: Honey, there are so many things wrong with it, I don't think I can pinpoint any ONE thing.

Me: So, if the suit were "flat" and fitted, then it would be okay? It kind of defeats the point of trying to hide my lumpiness, then.

Hubs: If that's your goal, then this is not the suit. That thing adds all kinds of lumps and pounds. It's the worst suit I've ever seen.

So. I might not LOVE it, but the worst suit EVER? Someone put this into terms I can understand, because hubby aint speakin' my language. I have obviously seen enough debate to know that this suit can trigger World War III, and I definitely know I won't be wearing it in public unless I want people to laugh/snicker/ask me to borrow some Geritol or Depends. But I am somewhat worried that my sense of appropriate clothing is slipping, and that I will soon be wearing my pants up to my armpits and sporting floral polyester.

I need OPINIONS! And explanations that spell this out for me.

And also I want to know how many of you own this suit?????????? Because it came in, like, 47 colors, so I KNOW one of you out there has it. Fess up.


amy said...

i don't own it but I think it's cute.
maybe mike should try it on. it might give him a new perspective :)

Elizabeth said...

Uugghh!! I'm right there with ya..have the same suit (brown w polka dots) and bought it for exactly the same reasons. Was so excited to have a suit that covered the "bulges", that is until Russ saw it and was like.."hmmm, yeah..I guess it's nice" (with a totally NOT excited expression on his face). We left it at that and I am continuing to wear at the pool - no one needs to see what I've got going on these days :)

erin said...

Uh Oh. This exact suit in black is on its way to my house as we speak. Ordered it the other day. It has such good reviews from other ladies. I do have a feeling Shane might hate it. I think its cute!

beth said...

i too almost bought the brown polka dot version of this suit. i think what it boils down to for guys is that when they think of us in swimsuits they think of seeing our boobs. a bandeau suit is never going to present your ta-ta's in their best light - unless you have had a boob job and they defy gravity. if your chest is showcased in a flattering way (for guys that is cleavage, i think) then it doesn't really matter what the rest of you looks like in the suit. so, keep your blue suit for pool days with other mommy's that can appreciate your hard camoflauging work and find something that makes the most of what is left of your post-baby boobs for pool days with the hubby.

A Mother...Again said...

Hmmm...I don't own this suit, but I can totally see myself buying it for ALL the same reasons that you (and others) have bought it. And I can also see why my hubs wouldn't like it. I simply mention the word one-piece and he starts looking around for his mom...apparently he's not seen any hot one-piece suits lately. At least none that would look good on someone who's had a few kiddos.

I agree with others and yourself. Keep it to wear on your pool days and find something else for the pool days where hubby is present. As long as you like it, that's all that really matters.

rachel @ perfectly imperfect said...

ha ha ha!! this made me laugh hard enough to spit coffee on my keyboard (oops).
i don't own that suit, but i think it's cute. i saw at least 7 similar ones at the WG pool on saturday. it's not flattering on everyone, but it covers stuff up for sure!
i got a suit from "athleta" that's supposedly for surfers/triathlete chicks. i won't lie & pretend that i'm going to do a triathlon in it, but it covers my belly flap & thigh stretch marks without looking geriatric.
have you seen sex & the city 2? they show a nice 'burkini' while they're in the middle east... i could get behind that look easily.

Lauren said...

I have a variation of the suit in red that I love(but with higher leg lines) but tried on the Target suit and was horrified. Here's why: The rouching is very flattering in the mid-section area, but I think suits that come low on the hips actually make them look bigger. (See boy shorts swimsuit trend circa 1997.) For those with toothpick legs, no problem. For thunder thigh sufferers like myself, very much an issue.

Carol said...

I like your suit.

ruching is such a much better term than Fagotting!!!...that's all for now!

P.S.while you're passing out Geritol and Depends, could you please lend me one of your floral swim-caps.

The Bishops said...

I don't own that suit but think it is cute...although my husband would probably agree with your husband. He thinks I should still wear a bikini. I have had 3 kids in 6 years and my stomach will never be the same! I will not be wearing a bikini ever again! I ended up getting a tankini from and LOVE it. It covers my stomach area and fits well! Gap has longer torso stuff so it gathers a little at my waist as well which I like. I also agree with what Beth said. The gap tankini shows off my chest a little bit and my husband liked that. Of course it tied around my neck which was needed to hold them up after 3 kids! Ha!

Ryans said...

I could write a book on this as last year this exact situation happened at our house... but it was over a skirt suit. Kyle did almost vomit when he saw me in it and it was the first time I'd ever heard him say a negative word about any one of the MANY frumpy and unstylish items I wear on a daily basis. He couldn't quite tell me why he hated it so much, but I loved the suit (and I did keep it.) Because 1. No one wants to see my thighs and 2. I felt good in the suit. It was also strapless. I really only like to wear strapless suits because I hate tan lines. Wear it proudly.

Anonymous said...

sounds like the perfect suit for me.