Because this morning can only be described as the biggest comedy of errors in history. Which is *funny* because I'm kind of an expert in puke removal, as you'll remember that Miss L threw up multiple times a day for 3.5 years straight. NO joke,it is actually the reason we removed our carpet. Except that those sweeter, fonder vomiting memories consisted of 100% liquid up-chuck, because our little darlin' only consumed formula.
But wouldn't you know it! She went and got herself on a solid food diet. And mini-cheeseburgers and macaroni and cheese are the gifts-that-keep-on-mother-humping-giving. Almost in their original form, coincidentally, so it is quite like I am doing a 3-D dairy puzzle that is 37 years past it's expiration date.
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
So this morning. I wrapped L's entire bed in saran wrap and carried it down to the basement. Where I proceeded to hand rinse it. I removed everything chunky in the sink BY HAND (gag) and then threw it in the washing machine. And I kid you not, when the cycle was finished and I went to take everything out?
Vomit flakes were plentiful. And everywhere. In. my. washing. machine.
W. T. H.
Perhaps there is one evil greater than middle of the night vomit that requires a full showering and load of laundry, pronto. Actually puking in my washing machine would be WORSE and somehow, I managed to inadvertently make that nightmare happen.
So then I had to sterilize my washing machine with alcohol and fire. Whoa, you don't want to mix those substances. FYI.
L only threw up one time, but it was a doozy. Mostly because it happened around 1 a.m. (based on appearance and smell), but was not discovered until 7 a.m. and her last meal consisted of 3 very bad food choices: noodles, meat and dairy.
***fyi, I know that last level of the vomit pyramid is blurry. Can't. figure. it. out. Except to assume that blogger hates me and wants me to die a slow, psychotic death. ***