I am pop culture on the clearance rack.

Mike:  Ugh, does that tag come off?  It's huge and it looks TERRIBLE on those shoes.

Me:  Um, why would I take the tag off?  Then how will anyone know that I am COOL?

Thanks to a friend of mine, a REALLY great sale, and the omnipresent power of facebook, I scored these sequined Tom's for $23 on Friday.   It was so important that I drove my rabid monkeys (translation: children) across town after school on FRIDAY--the time at which their rabies is MOST pronounced--on the chance that the store would have a pair of Tom's that wasn't hot pink, in a size 7.5.  They had ONE pair, in the color/sequins I wanted, so really it was like the voice of God that led me there and patiently suppressed the urge to break into a diatribe regarding the VERY BIG difference between actual errands like the post office (that make me want to LOSE MY MIND) and the fun "privilege"of shopping for clearance rack shoes that may-or-may-not provide a second pair of shoes to an underprivileged child (I'm unsure of Tom's sale policy).  On this particular outing, however, the Holy Spirit could only handle so much, and so it lived in the hearts of children by promising HOURS of Wii play for those who did not:  1.) whine 2.) tell me this was boring or 3.) scream loud enough to alarm passers-by while I slipped into the store for 3.7 minutes to buy their sole pair of sized 7.5 Tom's.  

If millions of other people didn't buy these shoes, I would probably think they were the ugliest things I have ever seen.  But I buy into pop culture--hell, I am Mrs. Pop Culture--and so that is precisely how I find myself wearing shoes that are mostly like sturdy socks, throughout a Midwestern winter.  Particularly, with skinny jeans that leave a little of my flesh exposed the elements, because that's how someone *cool* like Paris Hilton or Khloe Kardashian or {insert someone equally atrocious HERE}, who lives in CALIFORNIA, does it.   

Crap.  In theory, I'm all for a world without Kardashians-- but I'm beginning to think my clearance sale Tom's and my tendencies toward teaching my children the lyrics to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It", might unintentionally be responsible for Bratz dolls and slutty Halloween costumes for toddlers.  

Crap.