Mike: You know, you're going to feel hungry, all the time.
Me: I think I can handle it, I mean, what's the difference between this, and being on Survivor?
Mike: Nothing really--except you know you're not on Survivor, right?
Whatever, Mike. If you've read my post about leaving my purse in a shopping cart at Sam's Club, two days before Christmas, then you would know my life is VERY MUCH like being on Survivor: American Suburbs. Only here, they serve non-stop diet coke and left over mac-and-cheese, and let me tell you, that feels almost as bad as a juice cleanse.
So, here's the thing, friends. Two days, 4.5 pounds down. I almost couldn't believe it myself, but then I remembered that I am only DRINKING FRUITS and VEGETABLES, and it made more sense. Honestly, the weight loss is NOT the point of this--Mike and I really needed some kind of drastic kick to get us out of our very unhealthy habits--but I aint gonna lie, it's a really nice side effect. Especially since I'm having my pictures taken in my underwear (in a hotel room) in about 5 weeks. I know you're gonna find this hard to believe, but once again, it's NOT PORN.
The truth is that I find myself FANTASIZING over what I'm going to eat in 11 days. Or less than 11 days, because I am also quite fond of cutting this cleanse short. Mostly, I will see a half eaten chicken nugget and think "Ohhhhhhmyyyyyyyyygoddddddddddd, I really want that chicken nugget"--and then I think, wtf, it's a cold piece of artificial meat that my kid has slobbered on. And it's in those moments of desperation over a gross piece of faux-meat that I get what it is I'm doing here.
I'm pretty sure I haven't gone more than 24 hours without a Diet Coke in YEARS. Literally, YEARS. I wasn't so worried about having to give it up, because I drink so much of it, that honestly--it gives me headaches. There was very little doubt that I was going to feel better on a daily basis, simply from that standpoint alone. Caffeine withdrawal has not been an issue--or at least, not nearly as much as FOOD withdrawal. See, it's all relative.
Last night, I slept for almost 10 hours, because it was 9:30 p.m. and I was starting to feel hungry--but NOT in the mood to peel some fruit, and juice some fruit, and drink some fruit and then wash the 20 different parts of the juicer that are caked with fruit rind. So instead, I closed my eyes and delayed the process by 10 hours. Lack of sleep, as it turns out, is probably one of the reasons I feel like crap on a regular basis--and by 10 p.m. on this juice cleanse, I just don't have the energy for anything besides hibernation, so that's a bonus too, I guess.
As I write this, we are bringing Day #3 to a close; it has gone by remarkably smoother than I expected it to. Maybe that's because I discovered that you have to put half a lemon in EVERYTHING--it disguises the nasty vegetable taste. Or, maybe I was better at pacing my meals today. Or maybe my body is getting used to it all. There's no way to be sure, but I am definitely encouraged to keep this little experiment up for a few more days.
Do any of you use a juicer on a regular basis? Any secrets you care to let me in on? What about experience with a "cleanse"? Anybody? I'm desperate for tips, secrets, expectations, encouragement? If you have any, do share.