I've really had enough with the over-arching statements of hatred.

This is a post I want/ don’t want to write, in equal measure.  Because it’s scary, and it means we need to talk politics, and in my opinion, politics lead NOWHERE good.  Let’s be clear, I am NOT HERE to ram something down your throat--so if at any point you feel the desire to punch me in the face, please, PLEASE, remember that this comes from a good, if somewhat ill-communicated place.

And deep breath.

Let me tell you something about who my husband and I are:  

We are parents raising four kids--sometimes well, and sometimes unconventionally, and sometimes disastrously.  We live in middle America, Missouri.  We own our own business, and at times it is awesome, and at times it is so complicated, that we want to get rid of everything we have and move to the rainforest.  Scratch that, the beach (no snakes, killer tan).  We have lived in a really nice house on a golf course, and now we want LESS.  We have known incredible struggles.  We are Christians.  We are conservative.  We vote Republican.  

We have NEVER once put a political sign in our yard.  EVER.  Because we believe that the *politics* of putting a sign in your yard has become...passive-aggressively, ugly.  This isn’t always the reason people do it--so RELAX, those of you who are showing your support for Uncle Steve who is running for State Senate--but in my experience, signs come with a kind of hostility.  They are polarizing.   We don’t make it our business, or our general theme in life, to point out the DIFFERENCES we have with our neighbors, and despite even our best intentions, that is what the signs do.  Placed even in innocent support or void of malice, these sorts of things breed stereotypes and untruths and prejudices--and we just believe we can be Republicans without them.

We don’t watch Fox News.  GASP!  We actually can’t handle Fox News, it gives us the shakes.  Not because we disagree with it’s content, but we just really can’t stand people whining ALL. THE. TIME.  Honestly, I tell my kids to knock that sh#! out, so I certainly am not going to listen to it during the two hours I have to relax and unwind at night.  No thankey, and that goes for you too CNN, and MSNBC, and all your counterparts.   I am no political expert, but I educate myself when I feel like I need to, and I am confident that I know WHERE to find information.   The Internet seems to have a lot of it.  The economy sucks, unemployment rates suck, the real estate market sucks--I don’t need to hear about whose *alleged* fault it is.  I KNOW who’s to blame--I AM, because I am selfish and ego-centric, and there is a part of me that thinks I deserve everything I want.  We are ALL part of the problem, friends--and this is the Christian part of me that believes we are DESTINED to screw this up.  The Bible tells me that, but even if you think the Bible is a load of crap, can you REALLY argue that this isn’t what human beings do--just look at history.  Tell me who has gotten it right?

Which brings me to my point--the things that people are posting on Facebook and Twitter, regarding the Komen’s Foundation’s decision NOT to support Planned Parenthood.  Good golly.   I am conservative, I am pro-life--I am not a woman-hater, I am NOT out to destroy the freedom of my gender.  You can tell me I am, but I can assure you, I’m not.  I do not bomb abortion clinics, or yell and condemn the women who visit them.  I HURT for them, I’m terribly saddened by the circumstances that got them there, and for the scars they will carry for a lifetime.  I would like to make them candy covered pretzels and craft a flower out of felt for them, because this is my love language.  Or give them a hug, if I was a hugger.   I LOVE a handful of women that I know personally, who have had abortions--all of them as teenagers--who came to their decisions out of a place of desperation.  I HATE that young girls AND grown women have to face that kind of fear.  I do not think I am any better than someone who has struggled with this decision.  When Mike and I were expecting our triplets and my water broke with our son Caleb, we were given the option of “aborting” one son, for the sake of Big J and L--and no matter what side of the fence you sit on, that kind of responsibility is enormous, and the weight of those words is heavy and sad.  And this is coming from a woman with the support of her husband and family, with the resources to care for her children and to seek medical care.  I am devastated for women who have to make that choice in secret, and who hide that kind of pain for years, or lifetimes because they fear judgement.  I am pro-life, I do not believe that abortion is the only choice under terrible circumstances; but I don’t believe that not having an abortion means I am going to heaven and that all pro-choice advocates are morally corrupt, baby killers who are going to hell.   

I think the Susan G. Komen Foundation has done AMAZING things for women’s health.  I think they’ve rallied a nation behind a deeply, personal cause and that they care so much about what they do, that they are REALLY good at raising money to support it.   I also think, that at the end of the day, that kind of money breeds distrust, and that’s incredibly sad.  I’ve heard arguments, years before this sh#! storm, that the attention brought to breast cancer awareness tends to take focus and funds away from some of the other cancers.  Jealousy between life-threatening cancers is the bottom of the barrel, I think.  As is taking the spirit of a non-profit organization who’s desire is to do GOOD, and telling them they are worthless, spineless, political pawns.  I would LOVE to say this isn’t political, and at the heart of breast cancer awareness, I don’t think it is--but there isn’t a company or organization on the planet that can raise that kind of money and have that kind of attention placed upon them, that won’t be turned political.  With their success, comes THOUSANDS of opinions about HOW they should spend that money and where it should go, and a critical distrust of how they carry themselves.  They are DESTINED to leave someone empty-handed, certain to come up short, no matter what their budget.  There is NEVER enough, friends.  They are trying to cure cancer and they STILL can’t please everybody; even worse, they are inspiring actual, seething hatred.  

Which is where the Facebook propaganda really gets me.  I think the Komen Foundation has the right to fight cancer the way they see fit.  I stand by their choice, I think the world is a better place for the work that they do, and that doesn’t make me ignorant, or an anti-feminist, or someone who wants to see underprivileged women die of cancer--I just have a different opinion.  I didn’t vote for President Obama, and I don’t agree with some of his policies--but I’m not going to call him an idiot and spew hatred at him every chance I get.  I freaking hate that--oh, that makes my blood boil.   What a way to teach our kids how to be divisive and hostile and stubborn, because they HEAR that, friends.  I am certainly *trying* to model respect, for the simple fact that he is the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES--even when it’s the more popular choice to jump on an incredibly immature bandwagon.  Whether I voted for him or not, I am under his authority, because that’s how this country works and I am welcome to go elsewhere.  But I rather like it here, and if I REALLY want to change things, I am welcome to DO SOMETHING about it, create a foundation to raise money and awareness, run for Congress--you name it.  Except that I generally choose to watch the Kardashians against ALL OF MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, and that is further proof that I AM the problem with this country.    

You all are welcome to discuss this with me.  RESPECTFULLY.  Because I can love you all, and deeply appreciate you--and we can STILL be different.  I am okay with that.  I will still laugh at your jokes and cherish your comments, even if we disagree--but probably not if you YELL your seething hatred of me (in all caps, fyi--that’s internet speak for screaming).  I will try, but it’s gonna hurt a little, and I’m gonna cry, and then I’m gonna write a sarcastic response.