Garage Sale: Saturday, April 28th
8:00 a.m. until all this shit is gone and I no longer fear dying in an avalanche of gently used baby clothes.
If you live in St. Louis, have kids younger than the age of 5, OR you simply care about my general well-being then please come. I am the most AWESOME charity in the history of bat-shit crazy, as a $2 dollar donation will send you home with a backpack shaped like a robot. And you can feel like you have personally helped to save me from becoming a reality tv star.
PLEASE come buy my stuff; I am literally selling my life for pennies. I suppose I am learning that there just isn't a basement big enough for the old AND the new--and if this family is moving forward, then there is just no room for an entire Baby Gap store, circa 2005. Apparently, my children are more than the seersucker polo rompers I am *trying* to remember them by. And also, toddlerhood wasn't anywhere near as messy as I remember it (when I was power washing yogurt off the ceiling), because this stuff looks GOOD, y'all. Think flat-front Gap shorts before skulls and crossbones were popular.
I had grand dreams of going through all of the boxes in our basement, sorting and pricing everything, photographing it, and creating a balloon arch that could draw crowds for MILES. Twelve boxes in, I realized that method would be VERY SIMILAR to a sitcom, in which the main characters are lost in the woods and hiking the same trail over, and over, and over...
"Look Mike! Another Pyrex Dish! And how many Pottery Barn crib sets do we have (correct answer: TWO identical sets)? Wait a minute...."
So new plan.
Gather some stuff. Throw it on the lawn at 7:59 a.m. on Saturday. Maybe we'll serve vodka. Ponytail NOT for sale.
Stuff I am selling:
Baby and Kids clothes--most of it name brand and from the Gap, Gymboree, Polo, Crewcuts, Carters. If it's from Target or Walmart it's CUTE and not neon green with an image of Sponge Bob. Tons of this shit is new with tags, which proves that I have a PROBLEM. Also, lots of winter snow bibs, boots and jackets (including a GREAT pink one from Lands End, I think in a 3t).
Pictured below: 1/1,000th of what we own in children's clothing.
{Why yes, that is a red, white and blue bathing suit for a 6-12 month old; it was one of THREE bathing suits G owned in her first summer, before I realized that taking a baby to the pool is the OPPOSITE of relaxing. By the time you pitch the baby tent (also selling one of those!), it's naptime.}
An entire Pottery Barn crib set--it's in a sheep theme, cream with yellow and green accents (gender neutral). I have a bumper, probably some sheets, a matching blanket, even a large sheep/rattle thingy. Also, I have a PB twin scalloped bed skirt--it's white, with pink embroidered stitching lining the scallops. Would match any little girl's room that includes pink.
A (practically) new pack-n-play--purchased for the FOURTH child, before we realized that was unnecessary, and he would mostly nap in the dog kennel. I think we used it 10 times. It has the upper bassinet attachment and a mobile? But honestly, I could never fit that stuff back in the pack-n-play condom (case), so it's all just kind of neatly jumbled on top.
Johnny Jumper--this thing is a COLLECTIBLE, because I don't think they recommend hanging babies from doorways anymore. But I will tell you that this thing single-handedly saved my LIFE with three young kids, and they all walk (mostly) fine. You know how we always talk about how our parents chained smoked while they were pregnant with us and we turned out (mostly) fine? Yeah, this is our kid's version of that, and it is a freaking hanging swing (we are going to raise a generation of hypochondriacs, mark my words).
TWO white cribs. And I am still keeping one. That's right, I have THREE cribs in my possession.
Kids & Baby toys--all the stuff I have the pieces to, and we've outgrown. Lacing beads, and working train puzzle, a big bag of Mega Blocks (in the actual, zippered bag they came in), board games, puzzles and lots of other good stuff I just can't remember right now. Oh! Barbies (probably 15 of them)--never played with, only stripped naked. Most of them are *indecent*--sorry, I sucked their clothes up in the vacuum over the years.
Some women's clothes--mostly the stuff I bought without trying it on at the Banana Republic outlet, only to realize I am NOT a size M in the chest-area.
A petitcoat for a wedding dress or pre-revolutionary war type get-up. Worn once.
Rails for a twin-sized bed (when transitioning out of a crib).
A solid baby gate with foot pedal.
A Baby Bjorn.
A boppy pillow.
Car seats, if you need a second one for Grandma (or a second car).
Two small televisions, with VCRs. I know that seems obsolete, but we still own (and utilize) two more of these very tvs for watching kid show VCR tapes. If you're going to tell me that NO ONE uses VCR tapes anymore, you haven't met my in laws, but also, I have a PLETHORA of those as well, so this is your LUCKY DAY. (Edited to note: My in-laws are not for sale, but my collection of VCR tapes are up for grabs.)
It was quickly apparent that I was never going to be able to photograph everything, and so I just decided to go for one, big, overarching picture:
If you can imagine it in there, it probably exists. Dirty laundry pile (which the garage sale pile is TRYING to mate with) will be sold for the best offer.
See you Saturday!
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