I know this sounds suspiciously like we are going to violate you with hand lotions, or that we are secretly selling meth down by the river--but I can assure you, we are LEGIT. Mike's partners just found these things, and then customized them, and now we have thousands of speakers that are selling really fast. Because they are awesome. It basically syncs wirelessly with your iphone (or any phone/device that is blue tooth enabled); but also, it uses some kind of voo-doo magic to vibrate the sound through your table top, or counter top, or whatever surface it's sitting on. So I suppose it's not really a speaker, but something that turns other things into speakers, kind of like a shape-shifter.
Let me revise my original statement: We have inadvertently stumbled into selling shape-shifters. That's about as technical as I get folks, because let's face it--it's a lot more fun to just believe it's made of MAGIC.
So Mike and his partner are opening a kiosk on November 1st--right outside the Apple store in the mall, because they are the PERFECT accessory for an iphone. This wasn't our life long dream or anything, in fact, we will not be involved in the day-to-day selling at the kiosk at all, EXCEPT for the shift I am going to pick up strictly for your blogging entertainment, friends. Because I can think of nothing that is more awesome than regaling you with tales of how I sold electronics at the mall at Christmas-time; and that I marketed them as "voo-doo technology". For those of you who say that these types of shenanigans never happen to you, I ask: Have you ever volunteered to sell shape-shifters at the mall on Black Friday?????
Anyway. I'm telling you this, because I haven't met a man that doesn't think these aren't ten kinds of awesome. Typically, I am stumped over what to get my husband for Christmas, aside from a monogrammed sweater--and that always goes over like a turd in a box. I am likely to peruse the Internet for something technologically saavy, but unless it's marketed with a pretty, grosgrain ribbon, it doesn't seem to catch my attention; and thus, I pretty much suck at Christmas, or I buy something inappropriate and hilarious at Urban Outfitters. But this? It's something useful for desks, or outdoor decks, or tailgaiting, or boat riding, or dorm rooms, or wherever it is that you want music, but don't happen to have a sound system. Plus, it doesn't cost a million dollars, AND it does not include a cartoon picture of a penis chugging a beer. Score.
I know this all sounds like a bunch of science-fiction talk--but as luck would have it, someone bought a speaker from the trunk of a car, and thought it was so awesome, he decided to make an impromptu video. Because this is the kind of thing that happens when you mass produce MAGIC, apparently.
In case you're wondering, I am not being paid to endorse this product, because I think I've proven--I can barely tell you what this product is, exactly. Except that my husband and his friends tend to react to it the same way that I might squeal with glee over a maxi skirt from Target, which I thought might be interesting to some of you who want to out-geek your men this holiday season. And also, I am in the business of telling you the story of our lives, which at the moment is using all of our spare time to market a shape-shifter.
If you want info that is actually useful in any way, you're gonna need to go to their website-- www.trupulse.net. If, however, you have suggestions as to how I can make myself more awkward and out of my league while selling these babies at the mall, please leave a comment.
Christmas is in 61 DAYS, friends. And that doesn't seem like near enough time to sew 17 insulated casserole carriers.